you're like a bully in the Christmas story
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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