We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
