Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
