nut hugger
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Randomize
