There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
