Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
