vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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