Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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