tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
