the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
