If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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