Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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