Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
