this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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