her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
