What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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