Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
