This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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