I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
