Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
