Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Someone shit on the floor
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
