you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
