It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
