We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
