Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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