There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
