Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
