Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Be still, my beating vagina.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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