Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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