My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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