Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
