shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
