The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
