Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
