she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
