you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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