So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
