I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
