Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
