just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
