So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
