Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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