He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You were trust falling into bushes
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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