Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
