How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
this just has baby written all over it
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
