Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just high enough for therapy.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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