piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
