i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The power of my boobs compel you
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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