she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
