if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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