either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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